Tips for
Writing Wedding Speeches
JUNE 1, 2010 BY CHERIE JOHNSON
The best man
stands up, adjusts his tie with a quick tug, and nervously clinks his wine
glass with his knife. All eyes turn to him, waiting in anticipation of hearing
words of wisdom – and even a few jabs – for the newlyweds. Talk about pressure!
Whether you’ve
been asked to be the best man, maid of honor, or simply say a few words at the
ceremony, you’re responsible for lightening the mood with some laughter and
tears. And for most people, giving speeches – wedding or otherwise – doesn’t
come naturally; staring out at a sea of guests can be overwhelming, especially
if you’re not a classically trained rhetorician.
The beauty of
wedding speeches, however, is the inherent spontaneity and off-the-cuff remarks
that can be made. Remembering the good, old days and looking forward to better
days is what makes wedding speeches so touching.
Just don’t
stress out! Writing a wedding speech is easier than you think!
Below are some
quick, easy tips to help you while writing a wedding speech that not only moves
the wedding party and guests but leaves a memorable impression.
Writing a
Wedding Speech with Flair
First things
first. Don’t waste any time putting together your speech ideas. Get out a fresh
piece of paper, and jot down a few ideas that you know will help celebrate the
marriage of the bride and groom in a positive way. Perhaps start with a funny
anecdote or joke to elicit laughs from the audience and put you more at ease.
Wedding speeches should always be light, funny, and conversational. Formal
language has its place, but it’s not here. You should also ask the bride and
groom – since they might be having others speak at their wedding – if they
would like you to speak on a special theme or subject.
When compiling
and writing your wedding speech, know your order in the wedding party. Though
you should know well in advance the schedule or timeline of events at the
ceremony itself, you may still find it helpful to coordinate with the bride,
groom, and other members as well as establish a rapport.
Keep wedding
speeches to innocuous topics, such as congratulations, compliments, stories,
and happy wishes. Don’t ever say anything you think will be even the slightest
bit offensive. At any given wedding, there are dozens of people from all walks
of life, so it’s best to avoid incendiary subjects that some people may take
issue with. This includes, of course, religion, sex, politics, past
relationships of the bride and groom, crude language, and anything else that’s
not family-friendly. When writing the speech, keep it upbeat and happy, avoid
negative stories, and stay polite – this is key. If done right, you should also
comment on the beautiful bride!
Some books that
offer tips on wedding speeches may recommend that you set out to memorize your
speech by heart – this decision can easily go awry. Sure, you may have your
paper in front of you, but searching for the words once you have forgotten them
slows you down and creates long, perhaps uncomfortable silences. You would also
be reading your speech verbatim, which can often sound mechanical and forced.
Rather, think about having cue cards with the basic ideas you want to cover in
your speech – simply elaborate on each topic that you’ve previously rehearsed
while writing your wedding speech.
Wedding
speeches should be kept short – everyone wants to return to eating, drinking,
and having a good time, so avoid dragging out your happy wishes for too long. A
good rule of thumb when writing a wedding speech is to have a great opener, a
joke, a brief anecdote, and a heartfelt closing, all of which should take about
five minutes. In short, plan out your key points in advance. At the end, you
should always thank everyone, including the bridal party, wedding
planners/organizers, and out-of-town guests.
Wedding
Speeches that Wow
A little
planning beforehand will help you formulate some basic thoughts that you want
to incorporate while writing your wedding speech. However, the best part about
wedding speeches is throwing in some memories that are truly special to you –
remember them aloud as you would tell any intimate moment with a close group of
friends. If you happen to forget your wedding speech, it’s okay! Just run with
it and speak from the heart. Share your happiness.
Emotions run high. Above
all, embrace this honor that the bride or groom has bestowed upon you and make
them smile.
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